I can't do this anymore. I can't force myself to burn my legs out on this indoor trainer. I can't bring images of future glory to factor into my motivation. I have no motivation left.
This winter has been hard, harder than any in recent years - at least in the years since I've been training indoors in the winter. I'm told that this is what winter used to be like, back in the 60's and 70's. I think I would remember, but I wasn't riding inside at that time and, besides, I didn't feel the cold the same way as a kid that I do now. I think I used to like it.
But I'm done trying to HTFU. I'm done 'embracing the suck'. The suck became too big to embrace. The suck became the drunken uncle that always wants to open mouth kiss you at Christmas. No no no no no...
I want to move to a place where a 'chilly' day is one that is 70° and sunny. With no wind.
Because I just. Can't. Keep. Going. Like. This.