It had been a VERY long time since I last rode with an organized weeknight group. The reasons for my long stay away are so varied and complicated that it's almost painful to list them out. They include bits and pieces of real and imagined hurdles including competing priorities, lack of interest, frustration with group abilities and speed, shifting group alliances, the burden of leading group rides, other people's skittishness towards riding outside, and perhaps a touch of agoraphobia that started during the pandemic and lingered for way too long.
During this time, I told myself that it was better to ride solo, better to ride during the day (this is a newer option since I started working remotely), better to have the flexibility to change my intended route on the fly, or change my mind about riding altogether if I just wasn't motivated.
But there was always this nagging feeling that I was missing something. I know that riding with a strong, fast group always had the power to make me stronger and faster. Riding with a group also instills the self-discipline that the years of non-group riding have eroded: when I commit to a group ride, I ride THEIR route, climb THEIR hills, go at THEIR pace. I don't have the option to change or shorten the route or take a sudden detour to avoid the hills. Having the group to ride with brings with it some accountability - to them, to myself. To be honest, my cycling fitness has been on the decline since the years since I last rode with a fast group - and without that fitness, it's not as much fun for me.
Last week, I decided that enough was enough. I put a gag on all that head noise that prevented me from joining the group ride, and I showed up for the ABC Thursday Night Fast Ride. (Granted, I started with the C+ riders, not quite ready to throw myself into the deep end, but willing to dip a toe back into these waters). The ride lived up to its name (the C+ group is not slow!), and I left that night with a satisfaction about riding that I hadn't felt in a long, long time.
That evening, after winding down, the endorphin glow (or was it my twitching leg muscles?) kept me awake. I thought about the old friends I reconnected with tonight, and the new ones I made through the power of shared experiences. I thought about how I was needlessly apprehensive about my ability to keep up with the group, and the camaraderie of the group that I didn't realize I missed so much. I though about all those years lost in trying to find my 'bike mojo', only to reclaim it once again in the simple act of showing up for a group ride.
The outside ride season is ending in a couple short months, but maybe, by the time we finish for 2023, I'll be riding with the B's.
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